Carla Acheson

Ever wondered what it might be like to be a writer, here is what you can expect:

Questions such as this:

“When are you going to get a proper job?.”

Answer: “Go to hell – I never liked you anyway.”

“Are you pregnant or something, unable to do a normal job?”

Answer: “Yes… well no… well actually – conceiving them is far more fun than pushing them out of my nether regions.”

“Are you famous?”

Answer: Laugh coquettishly and reply, “Would I be talking to you if I were?”

“What do you write about?”

Answer: “um….”

Well any fellow writers out there can add to this list, I am absolutely positive that you might have a few of your own!

When I get into a blogging mode it all comes tumbling out.. Other than that I am stuck in the daily life drudgery of wondering what the hell to write about! Writing can be such a lonely occupation, with only a fridge full of goodies for comfort and Jeremy Kyle screeching in the background, and the promise of nothing until you put finger to pad or pen to paper.

My day starts at 7.00 am where I am forced by my inner conscious to get up and write that fantastic article that will blow the lids off every paper and magazine.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that!

In all honesty, that is seriously hard, unless you want to join the ranks of trash-story-seeking columnists who publish such stuff such as:

Posh buys a new lipstick.

Suffice to say, people actually buy magazines to read stuff like that. God No! Wake up! Let us have some real writing talent please?

The best writing comes from the heart, but often our hearts have difficulty communicating with our heads. There is nothing worse than that blank piece of paper staring at you, whispering that whatever you’re about to write down is going to end up on that slush pile anyway! Don’t we know it folks! First thing in the morning with half a dictionary stored in our minds, and strong Kenko tanking its way up to our brains, the best attempts are often scribbled across the page as little more than a few words of gibberish.

Once in a while, I might be collecting empty mugs from the bedroom, or reading the back of the shampoo bottle in the shower, when I am struck by that muse, and geronimo! Sparks fly. I helter skelter down the stairs to boot up the laptop, only to find that whilst waiting for Windows..Login… Pop ups, MSN friend alerts, Explorer and Word to load up – well damn – I have forgotten whatever it was I intended to say.

Suffice to say, the muse only arrives, whenever he arrives. And mine is usually particularly good at arriving when I am far away from my laptop (aka the supermarket.) I don’t find that amusing. In fact it’s plain rotten. I turn to fiction often, because once you get a decent enough storyline or plot down, you can curse the muse, send him to hell, and just get on with a complete concoction of brilliant lies.

Normally when somebody asks me if they should self-publish their book, I find it difficult to respond. There are so many different levels of ‘self-publishing,’ it really can be a personal take.

For egotists or highly ambitious  individuals it is probably a terrible idea, for they would have to do 90% of the marketing of their own book, and lets face it there is nothing more draining than self-promotion. My own views and opinions on this vary, I used to have a really biased negative opinion on self-publishing, though I’ve opened up to it slightly through some of the more successful self-published authors accounts.

Ultimately, I think it’s always a great idea to talk to a few self-published authors, where you are likely to get the real ‘stats’ and not just those presented by customer-hungry self- publishing houses.

Lastly, here is some good feedback from Jurgen on the matter of self-publishing.

http://timetowrite.blogs.com/weblog/2007/07/the-facts-about.html

This is possibly one of the best articles I’ve read on getting out of the ‘middle’ of your book alive!  Every writer whose attempted to write an entire novel has probably cried somewhere at the middle of their book, (I know I have,) wondering if they will ever get past this confusing section.

The middle of books is HARD, especially for beginning writers. Why? Because the middle of a book gives you the most flexibility in terms of telling your story.

The problem with GSMs is that most writers don’t have a very good idea of exactly where they want to go. I mean sure, they want to get “to the other side of the swamp,” but that’s sort of like saying “I want to get to the other side of the continent.”

 If that’s you then read Jim Butcher’s advice… it may be a lengthy piece but well worth the time for strugglers!

http://jimbutcher.livejournal.com/1865.html

I am inclined at this moment to reveal some of the most important things I’ve learned as a writer, and in no particular order these are:

• Detachment from all things, including my book, short story, article etc… Simply because even though I am attached to what I write, (it is part of me, solely created by my often stressed-out brain) well… it also isn’t all THAT to other people, trust me. It is a very critical and loveless eye that looks at your work, and so I have learnt to accept some bad comments and assessments which I’d rather pretend I hadn’t heard, (which being honest now…. come mostly from my other half, as it is he who would have to suffer the histrionic fits of disappointment somewhere down the line!) Detachment… detachment.. is key! 
• Understanding that my book won’t write itself. Get off my comfortable sofa position and WRITE even if my fingers stiffen over the keyboard and my expression is one of someone about to be garotted. God it is so unfair, yes it is, but the only alternative is to become a celebrity, and have a ghostwriter pen a very quick Danielle Steele (no offence DS and readers!) type book for me, and then I can read it after it has been published - in the back of the limo, dripping with sequins, quaffing chardonnay on the way to my book signing! Hells bells that sounds more attractive per second!
• I have learnt to ignore the inner voice which tells me that I am……..’pathetic and useless and that I could never ever even begin to THINK that I could write anything that anyone would ever want to read, let alone publish……!’ Yes I am highlighting that voice because it ‘s the writers death knell, and it’s probably the only idiot which made me take so long to get my book finished. And to boot I have to carry it around with me all the time, and the only way of making it shut up is by getting it drunk.
• Honesty. With myself mostly. Not expecting to write a work of outstanding success. No, my ‘voice’ is something unique, it is the only one that I can use, and it won’t sound like Dan Brown, Ann Rice or any other successful author. If my own ‘voice’ is developed and polished enough then it will be heard on its own merit – one hopes!
• Acceptance – Living with the fact that you can only do what you can do. I’ve read books and cried over them thinking that my life would be wonderful if only I had written that book.

Many people ask me what it is that inspires me to write, and also what I am inspired to write about.

Well the reason I actually want to write is because I am creative; I often get the urge to tell a good story or research a good topic for an article; and lastly, well because I think that I might actually be good with words: I think!

My actual inspirations for writing are partly down to what I am experiencing emotionally at the time, coupled with what sort of topics/subjects currently interest me.

For instance: the writing of my book ‘The Last Gift,’ came about after a very long love affair with all things Victorian related. Oh yes, I can’t tell you how many times I visualised myself in those corsetted dresses running around vivid green fields, waiting for the handsome Heathcliff to return from his hillside escapades. In reality-ville, it’s a t-shirt, jeans, a cuppa and my other half returning from work looking incredibly stressed out. So not exactly the same kind of romantic scene is it? Part of writing is living out a fantasy. We create the fantasy, often we become the characters, because only by becoming the characters (ask any actor/writer) can we truly portray them three dimensionally!

So for my first attempt at a book I decided to escape to the Victorian days, though part of the problem (commonly found) was finding a single original idea. How could I write what hasn’t already been written, or thought of, or at the very least attempted before?  I grappled with various plot ideas and mulled over the archaic prose whilst digesting everything I could of the late nineteenth century. Mostly I found a lot of very sad stories of death, disease and poverty, and so I took endless notes on all of these things and they formed the basis of my book.

My heroine began her life as a poor girl in very undesirable surroundings, obviously when writing a novel such as this it is very important to make it is as realistic as possible whilst still maintaining and developing a fictional tale. To anyone attempting a novel set in a historical period I suggest leaving no stone unturned as far as research goes. It is imperative to know everything about the period from how peoples thoughts differed culturally, right down to whether toothpaste was available or not.

I wanted to make sure when I polished my book that my heroine would not suddenly pull out a mobile as her carriage set off down the pebbled lane, (which yes ok.. that might be a tad obviously stupid to include,) but one would be surprised at what can occur in amateur novels when you are so embroiled with the mechanics of your plot, dialogue etc.. that you inadvertently make silly mistakes. Everyone, and I mean everyone.. does it. That doesnt make anyone a bad writer, there is always time to polish up.

So my inspirations come from life, interests, emotions, dreams and fantasies. Put all these in a blender and you can mix a fantastic literary milkshake!

‘The Last Gift’ hits heights on author website Authonomy.

Well my debut novel “The Last Gift” is steadily climbing up the ranks of Harper Collins website Authonomy. Since uploading just after Christmas 09, the reviews and comments have been phenomenally positive. Some of these comments are posted here so check out the link to the right.

I really can’t express how shocked and brilliant it feels to have written a book which has been so positively received. I cannot attribute myself to the text at all, except to say that it takes a heck of a long time to get from the first Chapter to the last, and then there is the struggle to find the motivation to edit the entire lot. But it happened and there it is complete at approx 60k. As they say hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!