Here is a story I wrote during one of our weekly creative writing sessions which amused me.
So you thought the Devil was always a quiet kind of guy? Well you’re wrong.
He’s here and he’s blogging just like the rest of us.
Life ain’t been easy for me these days. How can I put this. It’s just not easy being evil anymore because nobody understands what it’s like being me.
Okay, I know what you’ll say. “But hey Lucifer, you were the good guy, you were an angel once weren’t you?”
Well, that’s true, but in my experience the good guy always finishes last. I mean, seriously, how would you feel about being me? I’m the only guy who’s ever had the job of punishing every damned soul and each year they’ve been tripling in numbers. I’m overworked, underpaid. I really need a break.
Just to give you an idea how this all started, I was sitting in a tree minding my own business, having a cool conversation with some good looking lady, (a naked one I might add.) I glance around and there’s no-one bothering us and we’re connecting like crazy, so I offer her a bite of my apple, and then.. dang! The next minute, there’s thunder and lightening and we’re being slung out into the desert like two discarded banana skins.
That’s what you get for being generous.
Well let me tell you, I’ve never been sorry because those apples tasted good. They were the only good thing to eat in the whole garden. But what really made me mad were those two self-assured angels that were hiding in the same tree, laughing and pointing at me as I slithered away.
And as for that lady.. boy, did she get her man in trouble. The poor guy was minding his own business somewhere else and then he came straight into the firing line.
So turning into the bad guy was pretty easy you see, but now I feel hellish. I need to update my image. Get myself organised with modern times. Maybe learn some computing, build a website, create a facebook page…. something like satanrules.com.
I’ll employ my top guys Marilyn Manson and Simon Cowell, they can run all my media campaigns. We’ll be hot! Notch up some mega hits.
Yeah I definitely need a break. I’ve had way too many years of dull soul collecting.
My tagline needs updating too from ‘I pick ’em, I roast ’em. I walk the walk.’
And as for those pesky angels, well ever since I can remember they’ve been pointing at me and laughing. It used to be from the top of a tree branch, and now its from the top of a lamp-post in New York’s Times Square.
I’ll get my own back on them too one day.
For now it’s time to get into this 21st century. Thanks for reading my blogpost, any and all comments would be appreciated, maybe even a share or two if you’re feeling devilish enough.